6 weeks, 4 days

My first ultrasound is tomorrow. I'm so eager and nervous for it, my belly is full of butterflies that won't calm down. I had a dream about being pregnant last night, and when I woke up, actually being pregnant started to hit me. Before it seemed so unreal, it still does but now it's like "wow, this is really happening!"

It's the first pregnancy appointment ever that Bill won't be able to make. He's really bummed about it. I tried to make light and let him know that we'll basically be seeing a fuzzy dot inside f another dot and it may still be too early to even hear the heartbeat, but it didn't help. He said even so, it's still special to him that it's our first glimpse of our new child and it's a big deal. As sad as he is, I enjoy that it means a lot to Jim openly. Last pregnancy it was a blur, we didn't know what to expect because it was so surreal that it was happening. Now we look at Katie and say wow, we're going to get another one of those. A real person, a snuggable, lovable, amazing child.

Having a second child is so much fun. There was a certain magic to the first one because everything was new territory, but I think it might even be more thrilling on the repeat trip because it's a concept we can really grasp and understand this time. We're not just going through the motions while thinking "maybe it's a puppy!" or doing everything while not fully comprehending that your own child will actually result in this and be yours to care for forever.

Knowing this, knowing how important it is and how much there is to lose, makes it scarier as well. Instead of an intangible object, you know exactly what you're losing and it's scary to think that way. Maybe that's why I feel more hesitant this pregnancy. I'm seeing every step of the way what this little baby the size of a pea will grow into one day, and I can't wait.

My boobs are already growing. Holy cow did they inflate fast! With still breastfeeding, I thought I stood a chance but I'm already popping out of my bras. My milk supply has increased as well. Apparently my whole body is going haywire and just cranking up the production of everything!

Feeling sick but nothing terrible yet. Nothing like last time. I can't sleep this time though, I toss and turn most of the night. As previously stated, my boobs are bigger. Im bloated but not badly yet. Not too much yet to report. It's now been one week since we broke the news to the other half of the family and our friends, but it feels like its been so much longer.