C7, CD9

I'm on cd 9 today. Ttcing for this cycle began yesterday. Doing a few things differently this cycle (dh's ideas, not mine - which leads me to believe he's been thinking or reading up on this stuff!) so we'll see if it makes a difference. Last time I let him take over a ttc cycle, we got Katie. I don't think I can call it baby fever, as I think that's only accurate in women, but he's definitely getting excited at the idea of another baby. As am I, who can be defined these days as going through some heavy baby fever. It's worse some days than other's, but overall I'm now feeling very ready to tackle another baby. I'm a bit nervous of the pregnancy, but eager for a baby! I'm not going to try and understand my cycles this month. I'm going to just go with it, stress free, and bd every day so we don't miss anything important. Hopefully we'll get lucky!

Cy7, CD1

Since I'm so messed up with which actual cycle I'm on (since I was trying to count actual period cycles and not months) I'm just going to go with months. It's much easier! I've been trying since February, so this is my 7th cycle.

Cycle #7 starts today! AF showed up this morning, which I'm really happy about - it means that I understood what my body was doing this month, and when I was confident that I O'ed this month, I was right. This is the first time I had my period twice in a row since I got pregnant with Katie. It's been almost two years! It also happened on Day 30, which  means last cycle was 29 days - my shortest cycle yet! I used to always be 28 days, so I'm glad my body took the last few months to work it's way from 50+ day cycles to now under 30 days. I hope it continues to stay steady.

I'm thinking that we'll be TTC this month. It may make the vacation trip a little difficult as with Katie I was really nauseous by 8 weeks, but I wasn't actually throwing up yet. I want to get under that vomit line (oh, that sounds nice, doesn't it? Vomit line.)

Astrology speaking, Cancers and Tauruses go well together, so it would be a good baby month. The upside to not getting pregnant this cycle is possibly getting to try in September and getting a "Disney Souveneir".

It would be really nice to get pregnant in these next two cycles. I'm really crossing my fingers for this. After these next two months, timing gets tricky for quite a while.

CY? CD28

I'm on CD 28 today.

I'm not positive when I O'ed, as there were two times that I thought it might be it and they mimiced each other pretty closely. But, at least I'm 99% sure I did I this month, which indicates that I am cycling still.

We didn't do a good job at WTT this month. We NTNP basically, but I'm pretty sure we didn't hit it close enough to O to have mattered. I'm hoping to resume TTC next month and the month after, and if I'm cycling, I should have a good chance at pregnancy, I think. I'm still taking my prenatals, have a good diet, my weight is no longer too under the line (in fact, I think I'm in the good zone now), and Katie is slowly nursing less and eating more. Hopefully we won't have to ttc much longer, as I've been trying to get pregnant since February with too many obsticles. Hopefully those obsticles are over.

I'm assuming that my cycle is not 28 days still. If I had to bet, I'd say I O'ed around day 22 or 23, so I'm thinking this cycle will be an extra week long. I'll be on AF watch this week, hoping that I get it because if not, it doesn't look good for getting pregnant this year. And while I'm being patient, while I love not being sick, getting lots of Katie time, and having some fears about how the house and family will fair once I'm pregnant, I do want Katie to have a close sibling and baby fever strikes so suddenly, strongly, and more often lately.

I wasn't in the mental state of being prepared for pregnancy earlier this year, but I'm slowly getting into it now and slowly getting ready to tackle it again.

Cy 3, CD 18

Went to the doctor's on Thursday, this time for an ultrasound to make sure everything still looked good and nothing scary was going on. He said my uterus and ovary looks great and still thinks its a good idea to get pregnant again soon. He actually said "I'm surprised you're not pregnant yet!" which made me give him this face - 0.o as I just was there three weeks ago telling him we're going to try when I get my cycles back, and one of those weeks was my period returning. However, if my body agrees, everything looks perfect again and I'm ready to go to another pregnancy. Hopefully, not this month though. I wanted to wait until at least August, but I assumed that my very long cycles would continue (when I ovulate, it's usually not until day 20-21). Yesterday I was day 15 I think, (oops, just checked - it was day 17! My bad...) and showed signs of O. I'm hoping it wasn't, as it definitely wouldn't be a good time if I'm avoiding pregnancy now! As much as I'm eager to get pregnant, I'd love to enjo my first real vacation in almost ten years. I went to a first birthday party yesterday. What a mistake that was, there were newborns and tiny babies everywhere! I have successfully kept all baby fevers at bay for months now but it flared up there! Especially when Katie was so sweet and behaved so well and was out of my arms! Though Bill's cousin, who was hosting the party for her 1 year old and was 20 weeks pregnant didn't seem to have much of a good time and looked like it was hard on her. She got pregnant the same month we started ttc, so that easily could've been me! Instead of me being big and pregnant, I passed off Katie and helped her decorate for the party and helped keep track of her birthday boy as she looked overwhelmed (probably a lot like how I looked at Katie's party, even though that went surprisingly well with no real need to be flustered!)

Cy 3; CD 2!

I finally know what day I'm on! 62 days since my last light spotting, I have a real period. It happens exactly when I'm no longer able to ttc so if this does become a monthly thing, I'll have to at least skip next month. It makes me feel a lot better about what's going on with my body and calmer about next months ultrasound.

Updating, and a maybe hiatus?

I'm on day 51 or something now. I don't think it matters, does it? I'm not cycling, and officially NTNP anyway. So I guess this turned out to not be much of a de ja vu journey after all, as with Katie we tried until we succeeded, never NTNP, just straight TTC, and I had totally normal cycles. This time we stopped TTC to enjoy our summer to the fullest, and I don't have cycles/have unpredictable cycles anyway.

Have I mentioned we're officially NTNP? It's so gloriously relaxing this way. Sure, we're not getting pregnant with it, but I'm not stressed out. My life isn't ruled by a chart. I love the idea of having another baby and welcome a pregnancy whenever it decides to come along, but I'm not living my every day worrying, fretting, and stressing over it. It'll happen, most likely at the most inconvient timing possible. For now, I'm carefree, and I love that I'm carefree. I'm never carefree in pregnancy as it's full of hormones, fear and pain. I'm so enjoying this carefree lifestyle with Katie. This summer is feeling amazing. We wake up, eat whatever we want to eat (instead of having to be picky because I'm vomitting from every smell possible), we clean up, then we go to the pool and splash around in the water, sun bathe, go on a nice long walk, play on the porch, go for night time strolls, not worry about being so incredibly tired that I can't do anything all day, and we finally have a rhythm down to keeping the house clean and balancing it with my fun craft and summer activities. Life is going really well right now. I'm very blissful. I'm enjoying my time with my one and only baby girl, who's no longer a baby (a fact that's rubbed in my face daily as I gather supplies and plan for her party that's just in a few short weeks).

I went to the doctor's last week (or was it this week? Who knows!) and he cleared me for getting pregnant this year. He said that everything checked out, the wacky cycles are most likely from breastfeeding as I assumed it was, and he had no concerns. Yay! Next month I'll be getting my routine ultrasound to further put everyone's mind at ease.

It's hard keeping up this journal now, as I'm not doing what the original purpose of the journal is for. I may just go on hiatus with it, and wait until I am TTC again if that happens (the more okay with me being not pregnant that I become, the more certain I am that a pregnancy will happen when I find it most inconvient!) We'll see. For now, yay wonderful summer!

C?, CD38ish

I have, for charting purposes, counted the weird two days of AF spotting as a period. According to that, AF should have shown yesterday at day (I think) 38. Still nothing. I have had lots of CM over the weekend and I admit, I was pretty much a royal bitch yesterday with my emotions, snapping and general grumpiness. Not sure if I skipped a cycle again, which I've been thinking, or if AF is on its way and wacking up my emotions. Church has become difficult. Going every weekend is nice, but I can't view it as a normal church goer. Lately it's been doing the same thing every week and wrestling a baby while begging for her to stay good, quiet and behave. It's been like a battle to get through each Sunday, making it much less enjoyable for me. However, I do want to continue going because for some reason, sending up prayers during church when everyone is praying for each other feels louder than my own prayers at home. Each week, when the time comes to lift up our own prayers, I pray for the next baby. I don't pray for them to come now, I don't plead and beg for pregnancy, I don't ask anything of them. I simply pray for them, to let them know they're in my thoughts and whenever it's time for them to come to me, I'll welcome them with open arms. It helps with my patience and calm. I go to church to weekly pray to God over my Katie, and my future child. I'm still feeling fine that I'm not pregnant. I can't even say I'm ttc anymore. Just NTNP and enjoying my second summer with my one and only baby. We have lots of plans for this summer! Swimming should start up this weekend - an upside to not having a period! I go to my annual check up in two days. As nervous as I get going, I'm looking forward to the sanity it brings. I always feel like I'm walking on air after I get an all clear visit. I can't wait to kick off my summer fun once the appointment is over.